MY FIANCÉ PROPOSED WITH THIS RING—AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO THINK
When Zach proposed, I expected magic. Instead, he gave me a strange, antique ring—dark stone, eerie engravings. It felt off, like it carried a story I didn’t know. A week later, I found a photo of Zach with another woman—Camille—wearing the same ring.
“She was my fiancée,” he admitted. “She disappeared before the wedding. No note. Just gone. The ring came back anonymously.” And now it was on my finger. Two nights later, someone taped a photo of me to our door. I was wearing the ring. Three chilling words were scrawled across it:
“You’re next. Return it.”
Police found nothing. No prints. No answers.
Digging deeper, we learned Camille had ties to an occult society. The ring wasn’t just vintage—it was part of a collection with dark origins. A binding object.
I gave it to the police. We postponed the wedding.
And I can’t stop wondering… Was Camille’s disappearance random—or a warning?
Trust your instincts. Some things carry stories you were never meant to inherit.
A Psychologist Explains: How Do You Recognise Red Flags in a Relationship?
You spot something that feels off: a comment, a reaction, a silence that lingers a bit too long, but you’re not sure if it’s a red flag or just a rough patch. Should you be worried? Red flags in a relationship are warning signs that suggest unhealthy or toxic behaviour, which can lead to emotional distress or harm. Whether you’re dating someone new or in a long-term relationship, spotting these red flags isn’t always easy, especially when emotions can easily cloud your judgment.
Red flags can be particularly hard to spot if you’re viewing things through rose-tinted glasses, have normalised this kind of behaviour from past experiences, or don’t realise what a healthy relationship should look like. Red flags can emerge at any stage of a relationship, whether you’re noticing them in the early stages of dating or with a long-term partner. They often leave you feeling confused, emotionally drained, or even guilty for speaking up. Understanding these flags in a relationship can help you set boundaries, navigate dating, and protect your emotional well-being.
In this guide, psychologist Judith Klenter explains how to identify common red flags in a relationship and what to do when you spot them.
What Are Red Flags?
A red flag is a warning sign that signals potential issues in a relationship, says psychologist Judith. “A red flag is behaviour that indicates that a (potential) partner may not be right for you. This could include anything from dishonesty to manipulative tendencies. For example, if someone constantly talks about an ex-partner on the first date, it might indicate that they’re not emotionally available.”
But are these flags in a relationship the same for everyone? Yes and no, Judith explains. “There are some universal red flags—things like violent behaviour, excessive jealousy, controlling tendencies, or any actions that indicate manipulation or emotional abuse. These are behaviours that should always be taken seriously.”
At the same time, not all red flags are universal. What one person sees as a problem might not be an issue for someone else. “In a monogamous relationship, it’s a red flag if your partner is on a dating app, but in a polyamorous relationship, you may have agreed to this.”Red flags can appear at any stage of a relationship, whether you’re just starting to date someone or have been together for years. Recognising common red flags early can help you avoid unhealthy patterns and protect your emotional well-being. If certain behaviours make you feel guilty, drained, or uncomfortable, it’s important to take them seriously and assess whether they align with your values and boundaries.
Why Don’t We Always See Red Flags?
Spotting red flags is important, yet it is not always obvious. For example, you may have accepted a red flag and waved it away with, “That’s just the way the person is.” In addition, the first few months of falling in love can cloud your judgement. “It is quite normal to idealise or romanticise someone in your mind in the first months,” Judith explains. “You mainly see the positive traits and pay less attention to the (potential) red flags at this stage.”
One common red flag to watch out for is love bombing—when someone overwhelms you with constant gifts, compliments, and affection, creating an intense and seemingly perfect relationship. While this may feel flattering, it is often a tactic used in a toxic relationship to establish control. Over time, this excessive devotion can make you feel guilty for questioning their behaviour, even when it becomes manipulative or even abusive. Love bombing blinds individuals to red flags by encouraging dependency and making it harder to set boundaries or walk away.
If you are finding it hard to recognise (or admit) that there are red flags in your relationship, remember that this is normal. After all, you are with your partner for a reason; you love them. It is perfectly natural not to perceive every negative trait as a problem.“But if you notice a negative trait, it is good to reflect on whether or not this is a red flag. Check whether this behaviour has happened more often without you noticing it. Discuss it with your friends or someone you trust to gain some more clarity on the situation,” emphasises Judith. Sometimes, someone outside the relationship can spot a red flag more clearly than you can.