I Won’t Give Up My Inheritance Just Because I Wasn’t the “Perfect Daughter”
Family disputes over inheritance are often a major source of tension, especially when relatives feel entitled to a larger share. When Wendy’s mother pa:ss:ed away, her sister Cynthia argued that Wendy didn’t deserve an equal portion, claiming she hadn’t shown enough commitment to their mother.
Things came to a head during a recent visit to their childhood home, leaving Wendy emotionally exhausted and unsure how to proceed. Seeking advice, she reached out for guidance.
This is Wendy’s story:
Hello,
My name is Wendy. I’m 35 years old and a mother to twin 8-year-old boys. My older sister, Cynthia, who is 37, devoted nearly a decade of her life to caring for our ill mother.
Meanwhile, I focused on raising my own family. Last week, our mother pa:ss:ed away. Since then, Cynthia has refused to share the inheritance, accusing me of being a “selfish child who forfeited her family rights.”
The real sh0ck, however, came when I found out that before her d3ath, our mother had legally transferred all her assets to Cynthia. This includes about $85,000 in savings, a parcel of land, and, most painfully, our family home.
What hurts the most is that my mother and I were always on good terms.
She had often reassured me that the house would belong to both of us. Yet the documents are legitimate, and her signature is there.
Now, I feel deeply hurt, betrayed, and overwhelmed. It’s crushing to be judged and shut out simply because I didn’t follow the same path as my sister.
At this point, I’m at a loss. I don’t know whether I should contest the inheritance, confront my sister, or simply accept the situation and try to move on.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
— Wendy
Why families fight over inheritances – and how to avoid it
Inheritance gone wrong is a popular theme in fiction. In the recent German miniseries The Funeral, the one-sided will of the family patriarch unhinges the entire ceremony, and long-held hostilities are aired at the grave.
In our research, we tried to understand why families go to court to fight over inheritances. We found that there has been an increase in inheritance disputes reported annually since 1985. Using digital case reports databases, we selected 32 court cases which took place in England in 2014 to analyse closely, providing detailed insights into contemporary family life.
Here are four reasons why families can end up in court to contest a will – and how to avoid a court battle.
- Wealth
- Owning a business
- Sibling rivalry
- The legacy of divorce
How to avoid conflict
Inheritances provide a way to maintain social status or get on the property ladder. Drawing from our court case examples, families should follow a few simple rules. Open and honest communication is essential. In many cultures it is a taboo to talk openly about death, but communicating your intentions and expectations during your lifetime will reduce stress and the possibility of unwelcome surprises for your loved ones.
Keeping your promises is key. In other words, don’t change your will at the last minute on your deathbed – this can be easily challenged in court.
And finally, children who fear being left out should seek constructive, non-confrontational conversations during the lifetime of their parents. Building such mutual expectations during the lifetime is key. Afterwards, families are only left with judges as arbitrators.