I’ve dated my boyfriend for the past two years. There’s no direction in the relationship
I’ve dated my boyfriend for the past two years. There’s no direction in the relationship. When I raise questions about our future, he tells me I’m too concerned about marriage when I should be thinking about how to be successful first. When I ask what he’s doing to be successful, he tells me to leave him alone and that life is not a race.
We are both working and earning enough to make us think about the future. I once told him that when we marry and are able to put our money together, we can live a meaningful life. He told me that wasn’t his dream. His dream is to be successful by all means.
He is thirty-seven years old, and I am twenty-eight. Life is not waiting at the corner for me to get ready before it starts moving. Like a river, it keeps flowing, and it makes me anxious sometimes.
His friend, Arnold, came from abroad, and we both met him. All of a sudden, Arnold started showing interest in me and talked to me every day. I asked my boyfriend what he had told Arnold about me, and he asked why I wanted to know. I said, “He’s acting a certain way around me, and I don’t think he knows we are dating.” He answered, “He’s just being nice.”
Before Arnold went back abroad, he gave me his iPhone and some money and said he would call me. When he got to the U.S., he proposed to me. I asked him, “What did your friend tell you about me that made you want to date me?” He answered, “He said you guys have been friends since childhood and that he’s even looking for a boyfriend for you.”
I said in my head, “Wow!”
I told Arnold to give me some days to think about his proposal, but in actual fact, I want to use these days to break up with my boyfriend properly, and I will tell him the truth, the fact that he told Arnold we were just friends. After that, I would go back to Arnold and accept his proposal, but I will also tell him the truth, that his friend lied, but I’ve come to like him.
It sounds stupid and childish, but I want to give it a try. What do you think would be the worst that could happen?