After being married for 50 years

In the first joke, a husband compared his marriage’s humble beginnings with its comfortable present: a $500,000 house, a $45,000 car, a proper bed, and a big television. His complaint? His wife was no longer the young woman he remembered. She offered a wonderfully practical solution: find a 23-year-old girlfriend, and she would ensure he also got back the cheap house, battered car, sofa bed, and tiny black-and-white TV. Apparently, reclaiming his youth came with a rather substantial financial adjustment.

In the second joke, an older couple settled down for a night of camping. Hours later, the wife woke her husband and asked what the stars told him. He launched into a thoughtful explanation about distant planets and the possibility of extraterrestrial life. She had a more immediate concern: “No, honey, it means that somebody stole our tent.” Two husbands, two confident observations—and two wives who knew exactly what needed saying.