How are you doing?

Asked how he was doing while at the urinal, the employee answered in fluent corporate jargon: he had been under pressure, but things were flowing well. He had a firm grip on the situation, output looked good, and he expected to wash his hands of everything soon. Elsewhere, a man at a bar boasted that he decided when the laundry, cooking, and dishes got done. His secret to household authority? He was single.

At dinner, a little girl gave her father a welcome boost by asking whether he was the family boss. Delighted, he said yes—until she asked whether that was because Mommy had put him in charge. Another employee had an equally neat answer when his boss requested Saturday work. He agreed, warning that slow weekend public transport would make him late. Asked when he would arrive, he replied, “Monday.” Sometimes, the best comeback needs just one word.